Accept The Constraints of Reality

Humans are amazing and ignorant. Our brains are more complex and aware than any other species alive today. We don’t know how our brains compare to our ancestors of the Homo genus, like Neanderthals or Habilis, but alive today, yes, we are unique. 

Entropy by Perveen Kaur

Awareness and Consciousness 

We have gone beyond the needs of survival and reproduction with the evolution of our consciousness, awareness and prefrontal cortex. While we have the automatic and efficient modes of being, we can switch to a more intentional and thoughtful way of living. Our choices can change the way we live. And no choice is right or wrong, it just is. 

Limitless Modern Life and Limited Reality 

Modernity seems to have this underlying message of infinity, there are no limits. No limits to how much money one person can have; how much profit companies need to keep making; we have more and more to do with each passing year; more choice of what to eat and drink, where to go, what activities we can do; more options of who we can be, what skills we can learn, even what gender we are. It’s overload. It’s too much. 

The physical reality isn’t so limitless, there are a limited number of possibilities and constraints of what one can do or be within their own circumstances. To believe we can do or be anything in a world of limitations, drives us to mental anguish which in turn, create physical troubles. And the vicious cycle continues. 

What we want, genuinely want, doesn’t really exist. We are in no position, with our limited brain capacities within the realm of Mother Nature, to determine the variables and the circumstances that accompany our desires, goals and dreams. What needs to happen, how do we need to adapt, how will it affect other people, what do we have to give up in order to have our dreams, what will it really be like when we’ve got our dream. We cannot possibly know all these things, realistically, to successfully create the ‘perfect’ image of our future aspirations.

A product of billions of years of evolution and natural processes, we are but a blink in its grandiosity, arrogance and ignorant of many things. 

This isn’t as depressing as it sounds. It’s liberating. 

Understanding Constraints

Understanding that there are limits, and confines and we don’t have to reach for the massive goals that we have been taught, we can indeed slow down, live more in the moment, understand and embrace the limitations to enjoy what is there, what we can, within the realms of the peak fulfilment curve. 

Peak Fulfilment Curve 

The peak fulfilment curve demonstrates the point where satisfaction and well-being meet, they are both optimum. A practical example is one glass of wine, not three. With one, you can feel the relaxing effects of the alcohol without ploughing too much alcohol into your body (which is highly damaging). Or getting overly drunk to stimulate addictive cycles and get into a state where one behaves very differently from one’s sober self. 

Our peak fulfilment curves differs from the person next to us. We are after all, made of the same things but wired differently based on genetics and experiences. And yet, we can all find and understand our own peak fulfilment curves, enjoy life experiences without the excessive damage. Learning when enough is enough. 

Practical Action 

Write down three habits you have in your life where you notice that excessiveness causes damage and depleted satisfaction. Examples could relate to bad food habits, tech consumption habits, productivity and to-do list habits, and social interaction habits. Where could be the point of peak fulfilment, experiencing this habit while still maintaining a level of well-being, before it begins to feel bad or too much or draining. You know that point, and you know that sometimes, that point gets overshot. 

At this point, noticing it is enough. When you are ready, delve a bit deeper into one of the habits and really understand the damage that excessiveness can do to the physical, emotional or mental well-being of the self.